walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Randomize
