we have pet lesbian snakes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
