Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
