somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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