no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
