If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
