so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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