So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
