Please, let me fuck your mom
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
