haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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