whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
