I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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