p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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