Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
