But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
