Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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