So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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