So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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