True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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