Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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