I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
