That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
