Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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