I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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