Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
