I wanna bring you to show and tell
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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