So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
