He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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