Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
