TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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