i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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