arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
