You can't special order awesome
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
