The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
