So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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