garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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