dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
