She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
