well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
