why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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