I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
