p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
