Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize