you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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