is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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