And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
