im having a threesome with these popsicles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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