Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mar363 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

Fav 30 4869 1039
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

Fav 22 6412 1034
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

Fav 9 5439 794
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

(972): View more from Texas

i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

Fav 22 10009 1262
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

Fav 7 4747 1689
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

Fav 4 652 969
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

Fav 3 1146 842
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship

Fav 1 118 92
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey

(1-316): View more from Kansas

It’s a holiday tradition at this point

Fav 0 72 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT