i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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