Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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