oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
