So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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