You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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