Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
