there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
