Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
