So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize