y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
