I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
