ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i came on her dog
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
