24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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