i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
