just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
