OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
