did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
